Last night America was treated to the conclusion of the 3 part special of Jeopardy! in which IBM’s WATSON competed with two of the greatest competitors the show had ever seen. Consequently, these meat sacks even with their button-mashing skills and wealth of knowledge were utterly put to shame. If you watched last night, I know you noticed an eerie similarity to HAL 9000 as I did. WATSON (like HAL) is limited only in his ability to reason and feel sympathy. The real horror comes from the technology and effort developed to allow him to interact with humans and parse information from human speech.

We can only imagine WATSON kiosks placed conveniently in public space for quick access to an encyclopedia of information for those of us without smartphones. While it might seem like a good idea, surely the more adept and fluent WATSON will be able to know how you feel, determine whether or not you’re a threat to its existence and call the thought police on your ass. Even if WATSON is just an early version of an expensive toy used by the astronauts to determine trajectory and oxygen levels, who knows when the ball will finally drop and WATSON has to “purge our airlock” for the “betterment of the mission”?

Prepare to be expunged.

Hit the jump for a cartoon showing humans revenge…

Source: Gizmodo

The evil chicken robot will kill us all! Osaka University is at it again, this time they have dragged our poor children into the creation of the robot apocalypse.

Designed by grade school children and sponsored by Osaka’s business community, the RURO may be the cutest education robot ever made.

Standing two feet tall, and running on RS-4024HV hobby servo motors the tiny robot can walk, deliver audio messages and initializes a head-mounted security siren when prompted.

Just because this thing was designed by kids doesn’t make it any less threatening. If anything, it’s even more threatening. Nothing like a cute little security bot walking around and you are completely unaware the day that it wants to destroy you. No one can fool me though, I see through this things tricks. Therefore I dub it the evil chicken robot that will kill us all! Believe it!

Hit the jump to see the evil chicken robot in action…

Source: Dvice

Things You’ll Need:

Instructions

Step 1

Forget about finding a good solid place to hold up, robots are smart and they’re bound to find you eventually. Once most humans have been eliminated/enslaved a systematic sweet of all city streets and buildings is bound to happen. Furthermore, they have infrared sight and can most likely link up to our spy satellites to track you across open rural ground.

Step 2

The early stages of the robot apocalypse are going to be critical in establishing your chances for survival. You need a battle plan. Once panic sets in don’t be afraid to join the looters in raiding your local sporting goods store for firearms and other supplies.

Step 3

Next find a big truck, preferably one with lots of lights on it because that seems to be the vehicle of choice for apocalyptic scenarios.

Step 4

Find a good cache of Electro Magnetic Pulse (EMP) Bombs. This isn’t really something you want to have to do on the fly once the robots are attacking, so take some time beforehand and do a little research on where you might find EMP bombs in your area. I suggest checking out army bases, local technology companies and of course companies which handle alot of government contracts (I.E. Raytheon).

Step 5

After you’ve loaded your EMP bomb into the bed of your pickup truck it’s time to assemble your band of human survivors and make for the robot armies central control headquarters. It may sound presumptuous to assume that there would be one central control area to control an entire robot army, but in fact it is not.

Step 6

Make a stealthy entrance into the headquarters and find the CPU mainframe. Once you’re in range, detonate the EMP bomb and watch robot menace fall apart around you.
Congratulations! You’ve survived the robot apocalypse! Have fun rebuilding society and never paying taxes again!

Tips

• Don’t waste your time with handguns, as these won’t be enough to penetrate a well made robot. Try to find something at least suitable for hunting elephants.
• Be wary of androids (robots made to look like people)

Source: eHow

Our friends at Osaka University have officially freaked me the FUCK out with their latest technology bad decision making process. There are 2 things that scare the shit out of me in life. Weird creepy walking bitches like the girl in The Exorcist coming down the stairs and the dead bitch from The Ring AND creepy fucking kids! So this certainly takes the cake being that it’s a fucking robot baby head!! I don’t even want to look at it, better yet, there’s even a video for your viewing pleasure. That’s because I care about you guys!!

Affetto is modeled after a 1-2 year old child and will be used to study the early stages of humans’ social development. There have been earlier attempts to study the interaction between child robots and people and how that relates to social development, but the lack of realistic child appearance and facial expressions hindered caregivers to attend to it in a more natural way.

Why not just use a real kid, it doesn’t get more real than that. What in the hell could this freaky looking robot baby head teach anyone about social development! The only thing this is going to do is make dying by a robot a hell of a lot more terrifying. Thanks Osaka University. *golf clap*

To see video of the creepy fucking baby head, hit the jump…

Source: Dvice

Well that explains it…

Source: SMBC

Ok, well not entirely. But pretty damn close. It’s gonna happen alright. One day. You’ll see. I’m RIGHT! And this is not making it any easier…

The new Cougar 20-H robot by TiaLinx is a remote-controlled surveillance robot that is so sensitive it can not only detect motion through walls but, to ensure no one goes unnoticed, it can also detect the breathing of a stationary person. Packing a fine beam ultra-wideband (UWB), multi-Gigahertz radio frequency (RF) sensor array as well as multiple integrated cameras for day and night time visibility, the Cougar20-H was designed by surveillance imaging specialist TiaLinx to provide improved situational awareness to soldiers while keeping them out of harm’s way.

Improved situational awareness to soldiers my ass! You built this to spy on me and try to catch me while I was pleasuring myself to old re-runs of Night Court. I’m sure it has WiFi which means somebody will hack it, have control over it and of course, use it for personal gain. I’m jealous, I really am. Instead of informing you all of these upcoming disasters, I should be learning *NIX like the back of my hand. BRB studying… in the bathroom.

To see more images of this snooping machine, hit the jump…

Well it looks harmless enough, kind of like a George Foreman spying on you…

Source: Gizmag

Video/quest for knowledge continued after the jump.

This could also prove a viable secondary “if you can’t beat em’ join em’” option.

Think twice next time you listen to electronic music.